Open hearts and doors.

My personal Tyler Durden/Jack came over yesterday with her sister to spend the night at my place before leaving to Edinburgh, and I woke up early for once to take them to the bus stop. After that I've mostly been thinking about the soundtrack of my life so far, and even though I can think of more than 392489 songs to match every single mood I've ever experienced, I'm still having trouble deciding which ones would fit the images in my head the best. I have to get back on this one, I'm sure I'll be able to come up with a perfect compilation eventually. Important decisions and all that.

I had my second last exam yesterday, and even though I still have one to go I feel so relieved I could practically run a marathon wearing only flowers and a smile. Most of the semi-breakdowns I've been going through lately probably have little to do with the actual circumstances of my life but have happened mainly because I've been so stressed. It's not that I don't work efficiently under stress, I do, it's those other things apart from working that suffer from me being in full-on action mode. I start snapping at people for idiotic reasons and develop paranoia of some sort to keep myself concentrated on other things while trying to digest what I've just learned.

It's amazingly hard to try and explain why you consider someone particularly lovely and interesting, whether romantically or not. Liking someone isn't really something that can be explained with reason. It's undoubtedly possible to find some logic behind your feelings towards various people but all in all underneath all that logic there still exists that hazy euphoria that stems from purely unconscious factors. Not that these things should be explained in the first place, at least not to anyone else but yourself, it's just a reflex of some sort for me to try to originate where certain feelings come from before being able to trust them fully.

It's coffee time now. I think I'll have a sandwich too to celebrate the beautiful and miraculous vibrations in the air.

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