I'm a binary code that you cracked long ago.

Life's fragile. Love's fragile. You can lose everything you had in just a few brief seconds. Sometimes that includes just the things you thought you had but really didn't. Or people. Sometimes you get rid of something deliberately just to avoid all the hurt and anxiousness, and deal with the feeling of having lost something important just because you chose to. Screw up just so you wouldn't get fucked over later on. Wave goodbye instead of taking somebody's hand. It's all very logical when you think about it. It's much easier to choose the coward way of life, to run away from everything that makes you feel vulnerable and/or uncomfortable. Like liking someone. Trusting anyone. Being alone.

And now to more mundane things.

Depeche Mode was un-fucking-believable. The setlist was brilliant, they played both old classics and new songs, the volume was just right and the visual experience amazing for they had organized all kinds of videos and effects in the background. I wonder if Dave Gahan would agree to marry me? My trip to Helsinki was also generally speaking very entertaining, there was this documentary festival (DocPoint) going on and I managed to see a few docs with both of my sisters. We had a little gathering, just the three of us, so the weekend mostly consisted of wine, lots of delicious food, walks on the ice and talking. Good times.

I half-intentionally went out drinking on Thursday with a friend - after having a mental breakdown relationshitwise and realising the student night prices at the bar were that low it was inevitable that we stayed. The next morning I woke up with a painful hangover that mysteriously disappeared before I got up. Why doesn't that happen more often? Anyway, later that day I got a visitor and we had a nice, sober weekend just watching films in bed, touring around in the city and chatting. We also went to see this great art exhibition from H.R. Giger, the Swiss artist best known for his design for the Alien films. It was great to actually visit places and see new things instead of being at a party of recovering from one for a change. I guess it wouldn't hurt to spend more weekends sober and active, at least if those weekends can be spent in good company.